An unusual series of events
by lantern92
Summary: AllGrownUp/AsToldByGinger Crossover. Kimi learns that betrayal forces people to grow apart but most importantly, has dangerous ripple effects. She befriends a very liberal, unorthodox rebel all the while trying to get over a guy she thought she loved who is now with her best friend, the hottest girl at school. T/L K/C(atbg)/P
1. Chapter 1

**Kimi**

It was yet another first day in high school and I was dreading it.

After a fallout with two of my closest friends over what seemed to be an innocent revelation things had gone oh so terribly wrong. See, my best friend – or so called 'best friend' Lillian Deville had been seeing and fucking (for nearly 6months) the one guy I had liked all through elementary and junior high, Tommy Pickles. You can imagine just how bad it messed up our group dynamic. With Chuckie, my stepbrother gone to university and Susie, Harold and Angelica gone with him, Phil, Tommy and Lil were basically the only people I had left. The very people who kept the whole thing away from me.

It came as a surprise mainly because I had repeatedly told Lil how much I wanted Tommy and all the while she had her backstabbing claws in him. I felt betrayed and humiliated because she knew how strong my feelings for him were. As a result I decided to go to an art school far from home at a private college where I didn't have to deal with lies and treachery and delved into the transfixing world of popular art and culture.

I consoled myself with the fact that it was the last year I'd ever have to see any of their sorry asses then from there it would be off to Australia to enroll in a fine art program at one of their best universities.

Because I wanted them to see just how well off I was without them, I dressed up like the fashion icon I shall become someday. I wasn't too bothered about how I'd keep the 'i dont need you' charade up, but I kicked that thought out of my head and composed myself.

Skrillex was playing in the background softly in my red Toyota Yaris. I was wearing coral leggings, brown boots and a see through sweater and white bra underneath with a magenta hat that had feathers and bugs decorating it. It was all put together with a necklace that hung low with a mustache on it and a set of bracelets I had received while away at art school. My monroe piercing was still there, attracting even more attention to my full, mocha lips. I hadn't worn much makeup, just eye liner and blush and my hair was in curls, bouncing on my shoulders.

No one knew I was back. At least not those three, so it would be interesting to see the looks on their faces if I saw them in the hall. Also considering that I hadn't told any one of them that I was leaving, and suddenly changed numbers in order to disappear from the face of the planet I think I'd have a good time seeing their reactions. In my defense, leaving was the next best thing to changing addresses, and I guessed Lil would have come over to try and apologize and explain herself.

In all honesty, I was too desperately hurt to give two flying fucks. Still am. I still really cared about Tommy, but hated him at the same time too. But now the pain had turned into a dark ache. Time had turned into my greatest ally while I was gone and my only refuge was the solace I got from knowing that after this year, I didn't need to see them anymore that I had to. Which was never.

There was a special procession happening for the school's 100th year in operation before classes so everyone was by the fields, getting ready to listen to the long, boring speeches and proceedings. I reluctantly headed there and took a seat at the back, trying not to draw too much attention to myself, but it was futile.

People were pointing and staring. They didn't think that I could hear them but I sure as hell could.

_I thought she committed suicide._

_Shame poor girl._

_If I was her I'd never show my face in public again._

_Dude, she has balls to even BE in school!_

_She's back from rehab?_

…

What the hell.

Why couldn't people just leave me alone, or at least have the courtesy to whisper in my presence. Their idle chatter, occasional glances and hurtful gossip were making me want to cry. But I had done too much of that before bed to even consider doing it in public.

I decided to just hold my head up and block everything out. For the very first time in my life I'd channel all my efforts into sports and academics. Like Drake said, _fuck a fake friend_ and _no new friends. _Taking out my cellphone I started to pretend to text while everyone waited for the procession to start.

Phil, Lil and Tommy were walking to the bleachers opposite me. Tommy and Lil holding hands. I caught a glimpse of them and desperately looked for something to actually do.

Candy crush!

Oh, dammit. Waiting for lives. Why!

I was browsing through my contact list when someone loomed over me and asked "You the creep everyone keeps talking about?"

I looked up to see a well built guy with golden brown hair and a motorcycle helmet. He was wearing torn black jeans and a tight brown shirt, covering it all with denim jean jacket with the sleeves cut.

"Do I know you?" I asked, offended by his question.

"I seriously doubt it. Unless you've been in juvie.. then maybe. You just might," he replied, inviting himself to take a seat next to me.

I couldn't help but notice his hazel eyes and unkempt look, with stubble and sideburns. He looked like he was trouble or the sleazy type of boys your mother tells you to stay away from.

"How polite of you to stare," he added, placing his helmet on the ground.

I blushed, catching myself in the act. "Sorry."

I looked back at my old friends and saw them laughing, Phillip doing his usual comedic theatrics and Tommy slinging his hand around Lillian who was wearing her cheerleading outfit and giggling, her dainty, manicured hand stroking Tommy's leg. My heart broke and a couple of pieces chipped into my stomach which formed knots. The type that caused actual physical pain.

Ok, maybe returning to this particular highschool wasn't such a grand idea. What was I thinking? I asked myself, panic suddenly enveloping me. I'm definitely not ready for a life of pretense, jealousy, hurt, depression and envy. They didn't even look like they had spotted me. Its a big ass field, but if I could see them, surely they could see me...?

As I was just about to stand up to take my leave and go stuff my face at home, the principle and members of staff started filing in. I basically had about 10 minutes to get the heck outta there. If it wasn't bad enough that I was working a strict schedule, I saw Lillian speed walk towards me.

Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kimi II**

"Hey Kimi," Lil said, standing at the end of the bench. "I saw you from the other side and wanted to come say hi."

"How kind of you," I said coldly.

The guy next to me was paying attention and giving lil the occasional once-overs. I had gotten over thinking how much I used to tell Lillian that she had the most amazing body ever every single fucken day of my life. Now everything about her disgusted me, including the fact that she looked sexier than ever in her tiny cheer outfit with her long auburn hair that had grown at least three inches while I was away.

She looked like a goddess.

"How have you been?" she asked nervously but still maintaining her composure.

"Good," I replied. I wanted her to leave so I didn't bother to ask her how she was, because clearly she was having the time of her life shagging up with the man I had loved forever. Yes, bitter much, but she was seriously starting to grate my nipples. I had nothing to say to the girl.

"Babe, I think it's time for that thing you wanted to do," I found myself saying to the guy sitting next to him, elbowing him really hard in the ribs and praying that he wasn't just brawn but could take a hint.

He was sitting back with his arms crossed, and looked at me quizzically, rubbing where i had elbowed him. "_what_?!"

"Remember? The admin office thing?" I said to him, standing.

"Wait, so you guys aren't staying for the procession?" Lil asked, stepping back. "But it's compulsory..."

"We'd love to, but we cant," the hot guy said, following behind me. "Got some important things to sort out with my booboo like asap. Classified."

I smiled at the support I was receiving. I felt bad that I was being a coward, hiding behind some random person, but that would have been a fraction of what I would've felt if I had decided to continue our painfully dragging small talk.

"Oh, OK... see you around then Kimi!" Lil called to me as everyone began settling down.

i ignored her and started walking really fast to the car park. She had no right to even be talking to me like nothing happened.

As we were walking (i was literally almost running) away from the school event, my stranger stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Hold on there little lady," he said. "I think I at least need to know the name of my fake girlfriend slash kidnapper..? you know, it's a basic human right. Legal thing."

I grinned, extending my hand. "Kimi Finster."

"pleasure to meet you under such, err, interesting circumstances. I'm Carl Foutley. Transferred here, was recently in juvie for...dealing."

"_dealing?"_ I asked.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, a sort of rehab/prison for under 18s for like a year two months."

My jaw dropped. Wow. I didn't know how to feel about my new friend. He seemed so cool. Not harmless, but not like hardcore badass dealer either.

"But this is a new page.. I'm tryna be a better man," he added quickly. "Just in case you think I'm gonna try get you to do drugs or shit like that."

"Oh," was all I could manage. "that's riveting. So wann skip class?"

"But its the first day of school."

"Fine. Have fun at the procession-suck-fest," I said, turning on my heel to leave him looking like a whimp. I heard him jog after me.

"I'll come. Only because I know that you're probably not in a good state of mind to be alone right now," he said. "you need a shoulder. And mine are available."

"How did you-?"

"Know?" he asked cutting me off and shrugging. "I read ques on people. Same way I knew that everyone was talking to you, including those three so called friends of yours. I also sensed that you might need at least one friend to make school bearable this year."

"Slow down there Einstein. That so wasn't it." I said rolling my eyes. "I actually meant how did you get here? There are a billion motorcycles here... wait, it wouldn't be the huge one by that corner would it?"

Standing there was a huge black and red Harley looking just as dangerous and awesome as its owner.

"So...where do you wanna go?" he asked me.

_Far from here that's for sure.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**Carl Foutley**

I'd learnt from a very young age to never trust anything that anyone said for this very reason. It led to dubious misadventures that almost always ended up with me getting arrested, much to my mother's dismay. She'd come to accept that I'd grown into a deviant but still hoped for the best for me, giving me another chance at normal highschooling with a stern maternal warning...

"Now Carl, if you mess up this time its off to military school and you know it'd hurt me more than it'd hurt you," Lois said, her hand on my shoulder that very morning.

"I seriously doubt that Lois," I'd replied, kissing her hand. "I gotta good feeling about this place though.. so chill. I got this."

She clicked her tongue and kissed me on the cheek, I could see the woman's anxiety, crossing her fingers for me to at least graduate highschool without any more 'incidents'.

And as I looked at the bombshell that had just dismounted my bike shake her head to untangle her hair and place the helmet on her hips while looking around in a very movie-esque way, I felt an familiar pang of exhilaration. The exact same kind I got from doing and selling drugs, a kind of adrenaline surge if you will.

There was definitely something about this girl.

Something I was drawn to. Instinctively, I trusted the angelic aura that radiated off her the very moment I had laid eyes on her sitting alone looking fragile and broken. How was someone so uniquely beautiful misplaced in a crowd full of people who clearly worshipped her enough to watch her every move and care enough to converse about her life like she was on a pedestal? What made her so solitary and cast-off from society when she clearly had more individuality than most of the mindless drones had in one strand of hair? I'd never seen such a sweet but depressive sight in my entire life.

Switching off the engine, I followed her into an abandoned house that looked like it hadn't had inhabitants in ages. The décor was clearly not from this century and some of the furniture that hadn't been moved was dusty and beginning to fall apart.

_What was this place?!_ I asked myself, my fascination and curiosity aroused.

"This was the home of the governor of the state in the 80s," Kimi informed me, as if she had read my mind. "isn't it so... amazing?"

She had placed the helmet on the surface with old pictures by the entrance where humongous chandelier lay in a pool of glass on the marble floor.

It was dark and dusty inside and the only illumination were strings of light that shone through was from the tall windows that had been closed shut by planks of wood. I wondered what could have possibly happened for a governor to just up and leave his home and let it devalue to this level. War? Strikes? Nuclear bombs? Divorce?

"Hey, I'm just as crazy about haunted mansions as the next guy, but why are we here?" I asked, spotting an abandoned grande piano in the corner.

She shrugged "I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm in another time when I'm in here. It relaxes me."

I watched her climb the staircase at the left and marvel at the large pieces of art hung along the wall in steps.

This Kimi Finster was a strange one and my attraction was immediately clear.

I wasn't just into her for, well obvious reasons – she was a looker – but she had a good eye for unique and strange things, which made her more intriguing.

I sat on the bench of the piano and pressed a key.

Kimi gasped behind me, startled. "Oh god, you frightened me!"

I smirked, realizing that the piano was still functional and started playing the Haunted house song. It all came back to me in floods like I hadn't even stopped piano lessons. My fingers just knew.

A renowned music teacher thought I was a philharmonic genius and seriously wanted me to enroll in one of the country's finest music schools, but I had one too many fall outs with the law to take anything seriously, even though I did enjoy music, having the ability to play almost 9 instruments to perfect key.

Kimi giggled at my comic background music and sat by the bench next to me.

"Wow, you're good," she said, applauding when I was done.

I pretend bowed and waved to my one woman audience. "Thank you thank you, it's nothing."

"You should teach me some day," she said, pressing a key and causing dust to float everywhere.

"How 'bwt now?" I offered. "I mean, you know what they say... there's no time like the present."

She nodded and I showed her a couple of notes which she learnt quite fast.

"Now you're ready for a concert," I teased, but impressed nonetheless.

"Hold your pony mister, I'm a novice; my hands would probably be way too sweaty to even play!" she opposed.

"The sweatier the better," I told her, winking.

The room fell silent as she tried the keys again, her hair flowing down her shoulders and her little hands dancing over the keyboard.

The last key played and she looked at me with her dark eyes. "So, is my new boyfriend going to tell me more about himself other than that he was in juvie?"

"Whatchu wanna know?" I asked, turning to her.

"Do you live around here? Got siblings? A _real_ girlfriend..?"

"Yes, yes and no." I replied simply.

"C'mon, you're not giving me much to work with here," she said playfully. "Cause right now, we're virtually strangers in a fake relationship."

I scoffed. "Which means we'll fit right into society," I said. "Everyones got fake friend these days."

She stopped playing.

Clearly, I'd struck a nerve, given what had happened earlier on between her and her cheerleader friend. Once again, thank you to my verbal diarrhea for fucking up a good moment. I seriously needed to revise my social graces.

"Oh, my bad, I didn't-"

"It's ok," she interrupted. "I'm over fake friends. Too much admin."

Because I didnt know what to say, I kept my mouth shut. I hadn't wanted to say the wrong thing, but before I knew it I found her lying her head on my shoulder.

"I hate that I cant talk to anyone about it and anything too..." she added. "but they have each other."

I was officially lost. Didn't know what exactly she was saying or how to reply to it... I just knew that she needed someone and I found myself feeling protective and wanting to be that someone she needed.

"You have a good head on your shoulders," I whispered. "pretty soon this will all be a nonfactor and you'll forget about them. Promise."

I looked at her and wiped a stray tear that had trickled down her soft cheek. We sat like that in the dark for a couple more minutes then she sprung up off the bench.

"Last stop?" she suggested, a racy smile on her face.

I raised an eyebrow. Completely forgetting everything the police, my mother, the officials at juvie and my sister had told me about rebelling, I followed her back to the bike and took her instructions...


	4. Chapter 4

**Carl II**

"I don't think I want to know how you found some of these places," I said, gazing at the beautiful wide open field of …. daisies.

_The fuck._ It looked like a scene straight out of a music video.

Assuming that it was some sort of florist plantation, I decided not to think too much about it, but one thing was for sure – it was a huge ass field full of huge ass daisies.

Kimi stroked a flower and shook her head.

"Their places that came from a time when I needed some clarity in my life," she admitted, looking down. "I'd just decided to drive and never want to come back home. Run far far away."

But just as suddenly her countenance changed and she dashed through the daisy paths. I watched her run through them in a carefree, careless way until she swayed and dropped. Naturally I rushed to see if she was alright cause she hadn't gotten back up.

When I got to where she was she was lying on her back looking at the sky. She didn't look hurt, her mind seemed far away like she was reliving a memory.

Stuffing my hands in my jeans, I tilted my head and waited it to register in her mind that I was there. She didn't react to me watching her though and something told me that she was going to spontaneously start too cry. Her expression was a bit too doleful.

I broke off a daisy by its stem and crouched to her level, offering her the flower.

Snapping out of her trance,she turned to her side and let her head hang on her hand then took the flower.

"I know their you're favourite," I said.

She smiled "How thoughtful of you."

I lay next to her with my hands behind my head as a make shift pillow, then she kissed my cheek. That came as a surprise, so I looked at her not sure how to react to the sudden fondness she'd shown me. Our eyes deeply looked it was like I'd known her for ages, but I didn't want her to feel as if I was taking advantage of her emotional state just to get into her panties.

When she broke the gaze and lay on her back, holding the flower, I looked up too, and watched the clouds drift by in a lazy and melancholic way. There was no chance of anyone ever finding us here, it being 20 miles out of town on an abandoned route to a huge orchard. Gentle warm breezes tickled and playfully teased the daisies which danced and waved to the winds tune, and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep, relaxed and not bothered by anything...

\

My cell vibrated in my pocket and I reluctantly pulled it out, groggily glancing at the screen.

_Lois...24 missed calls._

"Shit!" I half yelled. It was dark and the faint glow of the stars lightened up the field, it was dark and... 9pm!

Kimi had perched her head on my chest, I would've enjoyed the kitten-adorable moment if I wasn't panicking and literally shitting my pants.

"Kimi," I woke her up. "We gotta go."

She rubbed her eyes and checked the time on her watch and swore. "We slept for that long!?"

"Yeah, well... the nap was fun. But we gotta get back to real life now." I said hastily, helping her up and walking us to my bike.

I drove like a mad man. Its a wonder I hadnt crasahed into anything cause I was totally oblivious to the fact that I had someone else on my bike with me. When we got to school, the only car parked there was Kimi's and two police cars, my mom's and stepdad's cars too. I swore, quickly switching off the engine and taking the helmet off.

"Carl, are you in trouble?" Kimi asked.

"Yeah, forgot to mention I had this," I lifted my jeans and showed her a tracking device on my ankle that was now flashing red, a stark contradiction to the green it was in the morning. "but, I got this. You just.. get back home."

Kimi had covered her mouth, guilt all over her face "Oh god, this is all my fault."

"Yeah, but trust me. You dont wan' get involved in _this_," I told her, starting to walk to the school entrance.

"No, Carl. I'm coming with you." she insisted.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at her worried, concerned face.

"Listen. I need you to go home. I can handle this. If you say you were with me all this time, they'll probably open a police file on you and watch you like a hawk," he said. "I dont want to drag you into my mess."

"But..."

"_Go_ Kimi Finster." I said sternly this time, it took her aback. "_now_."

She nodded, and went to her car. I proceeded to get into the school once her Toyota was out of sight.

"CARL FOUTLEY!" my mother yelled, looking pissed off.

Everyone turned to look at me.

"Mom, I'm sorry-"

"Just, you promised!" Lois said. "Where in the world were you?! You didnt even attend one class today!"

"There there Lois, relax," my stepdad David consoled her. "Remember your heart..."

he turned to look at me with a disappointed look. David was a very forgiving, understanding man, and to see him and my mother that disappointed almost broke my heart.

"Son, where were you? We were trying to call you since 5 and its almost 10:30." he asked.

"I had to help a friend out," I said cooly, trying to choose my words wisely.

"And skip a whole day of class?!" Lois interjected. "What in the hell was your friend's emergency?"

I wanted to come up with an elaborate lie, but my mouth and brain failed me. All I could think off was Kimi and there was no way I could rat myself out without dragging her in the middle of it. Admittedly it was a huge mistake for us to even boycott school, but in a strange way I didn't regret any of it.

"Carl, please come this way?" a police officer said, leading me to a station they had set up.

"Take a seat," the sergeant offered. "The tracking device shows you had left the town. What was this for?"

"To help a friend," I reiterated.

"You're gonna have to give us more than that Carl," the sergeant said.

I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Are you involved with the drug gang again?" he asked.

"No!" I replied quickly and defensively. "It definitely wasn't that."

"You doing drugs?" he asked.

"No!" I said. "No."

the sergeant rubbed his forehead. "you understand how suspicious your tracking device activities were right?"

that bloody tracking device was going to be the death of me. I had totally forgotten it was attached onto me when I decided to go with Kimi...

"i get it Serg," I said. "and trust me, it wasn't anything illegal. I was just chilling with some old friend of mine. Thats it."

all the adults looked at me like I was mad. So I had made a bad decision... yet again, but they didn't undertsand that out of that bad decision, I'd gained something special.

"Right. Well, we're going to do an investigation into this and if you are lying, well... lets just say it had all better been worth it. The four days of freedom."

With that my mother started to gently cry and david was consoling her.

"But thats not all Mr Foutley. As we wait for the results, you shall be expected to attend all classes as per the agreement _and_ detention _and _become involved in an after school activity." the principle, Mr Dale explained.

I nodded.

"Well, we're done here," the sergeant said, packing everything up to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kimi III**

As soon as I got back home, my mother informed me that there was someone who had been waiting for me by the patio for two hours now. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to think who could possibly want to see me that bad. I couldnt recognize the car in the driveway.

I walked past the kitchen and living room and when I opened the doors, my heart stopped. Standing outside in his football jersey and looking nervous was Tommy Pickles.

"Oh my god," I said. "What are _you _doing here?"

"Kimi-"

"Or better yet. I don't wanna know. I just want you gone," I told him, folding my arms.

He stood there motionless, and tried to make eye contact with me but I avoided his beautiful blue eyes that had some sort of magical power over me.

"Please, Kimi, I need to talk to you," he begged.

I finally met his gaze "About what?"

and to my surprise instead of apologising for keeping the whole lil thing away, he starts by saying "The new guy... he's trouble."

The nerve! Here was Tommy Pickles, the man I had loved forever here to judge and question my choice in who I hang out with when he had been seeing my best friend for months and hadnt had the balls to even apologise for being with her.

I wanted to explode with anger and resentment, but decided to play it to my advantage instead.

"Who I choose to be friends with is none of your business," I told him coldly. "Now, if you dont mind leaving."

"But Kimi, you don't understand. I remember seeing him last year at a party selling meth and cocaine to underage kids. How do you think Phillip got four broken ribs from jumping off the roof? He'd gotten some from _him_.." Tommy explained. "When I saw you leave with that guy, I just, flipped. He's bad Kimi. Bad for you."

"And who exactly are you to tell me whats bad for me?" I snapped. "it's not like you know whats good for me either."

He sighed, defeated and knowing where the conversation was heading.

"I get it, the elephant in the room?" he said, leaning by the railing. "Kimi I'm sorry, you know hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do."

"Tommy. Don't. I tried my best to be that girl you wanted but no matter how hard I tried, Lil was always the one you wanted. Even though you were leading me on," I said. "You all knew and made me the idiot."

He looked down, letting my words sink in. "I'm sorry Kimi."

"You're not sorry," I said angrily. "you should've thought about how itd all affect me, us... all of us."

An uncomfortable silence enveloped us.

"I tried, we tried.."

I held my hand up for him to stop talking. He took my wrist and our eyes met. I wanted to cry and just bury my broken hurt self in his chest but my pride told me otherwise. Id be a complete idiot to let him get to me again.

"But you gotta believe that I didnt want to hurt you like this Kimi," he said. "and I dont want anyone else hurting you, especially not that guy, he's dangerous."

I fought for my wrists back and stepped aside. "I think it's time you left Tommy."

He looked like he had more to say, but sighed instead. "I do still care about you Kimi Finster. A lot."

With that he walked towards the door, I heard him and my mother exchange goodbyes then watched him get into his new car and drive off.

\

The next day at school people were staring at me. This time for a whole different reason than yesterday... the cops had come looking for me and Carl, and this was now making school grapevine headlines. To make matters worse, I'd been called into the principle's office just to be told that I had detention for the rest of the term. Just my luck, now I had to spend twice as much time at school. The last place I wanted to spend most of my time.

As I walked back to homeroom in the empty corridors, I saw a familiar figure emerge from the main office. He spotted me and smirked.

"Well look who it is, the Bonnie to my Clyde," Carl said, waiting for me to catch up.

"Hey Carl," I said, smiling at his metaphor of us. "What happened last night?"

He shrugged walking beside me "Just a little altercation with the feds."

"You're going back to juvie?!" I asked.

"I highly doubt it, they got nothing on me," he replied. "You get home safe?"

I nodded, remembering my conversation with Tommy about how dangerous Carl was. I'd considered being his friend just to spite Tommy and Phil and Lil, but he seemed like a cool person I would've wanted to hang out with regardless of his past.

"I got detention for the whole term though," I told him. "for causing so much commotion."

"You dont say, me too. So – i'll probably see you there then," he said winking. "Plus I need to go for an extra curricula activity so I opted for football."

"Wait, huh? Football? Why that?!" I asked him.

Knowing very well that both Tommy and Phil were on the team, it was going to turn into somewhat of a very dramatic year...

"Cause I used to play and got recruited to play for nationals..?" Carl explained unsure where I was heading with the question.

"Oh, you're that good?"

"Better," he said, leaning on a wall to the class he was suppose to turn to on the left corner.

"Awesome, I'll see you later, gotta head for class now and be a good girl." I feigned a smiled.

He smiled slightly, looking at me intensely.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about yesterday," I said. "I felt so bad.."

"Nah don't worry about it," he said. "It was – different. I'll see you in detention then?"

All I could manage was a nod and he walked away.

/

Lunch was hell.

You'd think that by now I'd have gotten used to the staring and gossip behind my back but it had just been less than two days. I knew it was a phase. People would find some other kid to talk about it as soon as the next big story surfaced. But it was still uncomfortable.

I sat far from the cafeteria by the bleachers eating a sandwich and sketching. Phil Deville was with his buddies on a far bleacher but he spotted me and ran over.

"KimiLimi," he said.

I looked up through my shades "Hey Phil."

Taking a seat next to me he asked "Don't I get a hug?"

"No, dont be a perv," I said, stifling a smile.

Phil and I had always had a flirtationship but nothing much came out of it. He was silly like that. If it wasn't for the fact that he had the attention span of a needle, I'd probably have liked him but he's gotten popular for not keeping it in his pants.

"What? I miss you," he said honestly, leaning forward and putting his arms on his knees.

I stopped sketching and looked into the distance. For as long as I could remember, I'd put Phillip into the friend zone mainly because I loved his best friend.

Phil was attractive but he lacked commitment and discipline to be in a serious relationship, and whoever decided to date him was probably either too naïve or blind to see how loose he was.

"Save it Phil," I said. "You all betrayed me. I don't want to hear any _I miss you_ or any of that crap."

I saw him shake his head from the corner of my eye and frustratedly sigh.

"I don't get you," he said. "why did you leave without saying a thing?"

"You know why."

"Tommy and Lil?" he asked. "seriously?"

"Seriously what phil?" I replied. "they hurt me."

"Boohoo you. You hurt me too, but I didn't run away," he said, a serious tone in his voice.

He stopped talking like he had said too much. I realised that maybe I hadn't handled things as maturely as I had thought. See, Phil and I had had a past of on/off moments which we were gonna pursue but it was always futile because of Tommy Pickles. As a result, Phil ran to the first girl he saw to nurse his broken wounds.

He knew I loved Tommy, and always had, but he was catching feelings for me. There was a point where he quit being around Tommy altogether, but they talked about it and resolved it all. Boys.

I didn't know what to say to Phillip.

"Anyway, enough of the gayness.. I just wanted to come see how you were," he said, breaking the tension. "Oh! And I heard you're now besties with the drug dealer."

"Yea, good news travels fast round here doesn't it," I said sarcastically.

"Mmmhh," phil said, standing. "The guy's not to be trusted Kimi. He's … not your kind of person."

"_Not my kind of person_?" I asked, slightly annoyed and offended.

"Yes Kimi. We're best friends, and I'm not afraid to tell you that you're too good for that jackass," Phil said.

I fell silent. As much as I hated that Phil still talked to Tommy and Lillian, he was still one person in this whole mess whose word I could take sincerely.

"And I'm sorry for not telling you about Lil and Tommy," he apologised. "you didn't deserve that."

When he motioned for me to come for a hug, I went for it and let his arms envelope me. Phil was a manwhore but he was also a good friend and I knew he cared.

The bell rang for end of lunch.

When I pulled away he gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead "If you want some company for lunch next time just text me OK?"

"Sure thing Phil."


	6. Chapter 6

**Carl III**

I was met with intimidating glares from my new teammates as the coach introduced me to the football 1st team.

"Alright gents, this is Carl Foutley. He's gonna be joining the squad effectively immediately. And before you get your panties in a bunch, you'll need to know that he got full national colors for football and several sponsors _and_ scholarships from the best colleges in the country," coach explained. "Therefore make him feel welcome. Y'all could learn a thing or two."

I nodded at everyone as greetings but received shots of nervous, unfriendly looks. I was already public enemy number one and I barely knew these guys.

"Right," Coach continued. "I'll give it over to Pickles for the team plays for the match next Friday. Pickles c'mon up."

I took a seat at the back as the team captain came up, starting to explain our game plan. He had all the confidence of a leader who had never been challenged. Too bad for him I hated his kind, the alpha males. So about halfway through, I raised my hand.

"Foutley? Got something to say?" Coach asked when Tommy purposefully ignored it.

"Yea, this is for Timmy – How many games has this play of yours won you guys?" I asked Tommy.

"It's _Tommy _and several actually," he replied, then continued to describe his winning strategy.

"_Because_ I know this team," I interrupted. "and I can assure you their defense is stronger than you're expecting."

"Well, nobody asked you -" Tommy was saying, but the coach cut him off.

"Hold on there Pickles, this could be the winning formula. I wanna hear what Foutley has to say."

I proceeded to explain how we needed to intensify our offensive to get through instead of playing a mostly defensive tactic "ball control."

"That could work," Coach said, nodding thoughtfully. "Ok – Foutley will head forward rest of you normal positions and offense. Now split up and do drills."

As we did drills and passes I noticed most of the team was confused and not as fit as I had expected, so I could easily clock the ones ordered. This resulted in my attention shifting to more riveting interests of mine – females.

The brunette Kimi had had a confrontation with was practicing with the cheerleading squad a little way off, she was hot. I noticed her occasionally looking at mr captain. He was giving her grins and winks all through practice as well, and frankly it was sickening to watch.

Now, I have nothing against young love and PDAs but when they are badly timed then there's a huge problem. I also noticed that although the cheerleaders were all tens, all I could think of was Kimi...

BAM!

Someone swore loudly a couple of meters from me, and before I knew it I was on the end of a sharp right hook. I felt my face quickly burn and swell but my adrenaline was up and the most obvious next move was to attack.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Coach yelled, a couple of guys pulling me off my opponent. "BREAK IT UP!"

My eye was now swollen half shut but I could see Tommy lying on the ground, clutching his wrist and wincing. His girlfriend was next to him in a flash.

"What in the hell is happening?!" Coach demanded.

"This retard wasn't fuck'n watching where he was going!" I growled, fighting to get loose of the guys holding me back.

"_You_ were in my way asshole!" Tommy shot back.

"Pickles, your drills were well out of Foutley's way, what in san's heck were you doing over here?!"

Tommy fell silent and Lil rubbed his injured arm.

"Go to the nurses office both of you! Tomorrow we'll have a _serious_ talk," Coach said, clearly angered.

I didn't bother to wait for any other command, just grabbed my bag and headed to the sanitorium.

As I lay in the san texting my old pal Hoodsie about what a suckathon the new school was, I spotted Tommy walking in, his wrist bandaged up. He was walking with a girl, probably a first aider and she was giggling. The guy wasn't making it a secret that they were flirting in the open. I wondered if his girl knew of this?

I could be the one to break a happy home, but decided it wasn't my place so I looked away after seeing him smooch up a storm with the girl.

When Tommy saw me in the bed next to the one he was assigned, he didn't bother to make his disapproval towards me any secret.

"I want you to stay away from Kimi," he said bluntly.

I rolled my eyes, unimpressed and not bothered by what he was saying. It was almost time for detention and if anything I was glad he reminded me that I was going to see her in a couple of minutes.

I got off the bed and took my jacket, going to the sink to wash my hands. "You know, I think I'll pass up that offer, _captain_."

\

With my cellphone taken and most of my life gone with it, I discovered that detention was in actual fact, not a happy place.

It was probably worse than juvie.

Moments later Kimi walked in, I don't think she had spotted me seated behind everyone in class. She just got in and perched by the door at the front and took out a sketching pad.

Not to seem stalkerish or anything but I couldn't help but watch her intently. Every single move was executed gracefully and gently, almost in a flawlessly vestal way. My finger tapped the edge of the desk impatiently waiting for detention to be over and I felt my face throb in pain... but what preoccupied me most was how this girl wasn't good for me.

No scratch that – this girl wasn't _bad_ for me.

Because I was so used to girls with less than pure motives and the self esteem of a blade of dying grass, I'd developed very detached associations with the female species, treating all that came my way like less than they deserved to be treated as. Basically, in lay man term, I treated them like dirt.

I'd broken hearts and promises 'to protect' and love all in the name of pointless sexual gratification. I didn't blame it on anything, at least I tried not to; but the psychologist at juvie said that it had something to do with my father leaving my mother, sister and I to fend for ourselves almost as soon as I was born.

Some abandonment issue and not having any male role model to look up to during a crucial developmental stage in my life. I brushed it off as the rubbish that it was because I didn't think I was associating anything to my good for nothing piece of shit biological father.

Did I feel detached to him? Yes. Did I blame him for being the womaniser that I had grown to become? Sure. Did I need some shrink to tell me all that? Probably. But was I going to change as a result of some stranger telling me that? Definitely not.

However, Kimi's sweet and innocent nature seemed to be dragging me to a very bad place. A place where I didnt think I'd ever find myself. One where I was protective and vulnerable at the hands of this... girl.

The very thought of being in _love _terrified me.

I shrugged it off as a crush, nothing more but a phase that'll drift away to the back of my head and watched people going through the motions, the same thing every same damn day.

It was like they all shared the same agonizing defeat I felt about my life... a prison of its own, custom made to fit me. Except one thing was different. They were happy.

\

It was around 7pm and the school was being locked. I was headed to my bike when I spotted someone leaning on it.

Kimi Finster.

"Finster," I announced in acknowledgment, then ignoring her and tossing my stuff into the back of the Harley.

"Hi Carl," she said, her hands neatly folded in front of her lap. How long she had been waiting outside was a mystery to me.

I looked at her expectantly, hoping she'd say what she wanted to and I'd leave without doing anything stupid.

She asked "What happened to you're face? Did you get into a fight?"

"Yeah, actually. With your boyfriend, but I'm alright. Luckily, he hits like a pussy," I said slightly rudely, trying to make the conversation as short as possible. "He also asked me to stay away from you."

She was silent for a few seconds, and reached out to touch my bruise but I caught her wrist.

"What are you doing?"

"I, uhm... sorry," she said, looking down. "I just wanted to thank you for saving me from the cops."

"No problem," I said cooly, stuffing my hands in my jeans.

"And for boycotting school with me," she added, coming closer to me. "Taking the fall.. everything."

I froze where I stood. As many girls as I had been with, none could have prepared me for the kiss that she landed on my lips. It was clear of all the burden and poison of past lovers or regret, one which was so exonerated it made _me_ feel like everything I was going through was nothing.

Her hands traced their way from my shoulders to my face and softly rested there as our tongues temptingly ran all over each other. When she finally broke it off, I shit you not, my head was light and my vision was spinning.

It took a moment to focus but when I finally did, I saw an uneasy smile pasted on her face, one that told me she wasn't sure if I'd respond positively to that or not.

"Listen, you need to stay away from me alright?" I said eventually. Without waiting for an answer or reaction, I got on my bike and drove off, leaving what could have potentially turned into the most meaningful thing in my life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kimi IV**

The parking lot was empty but the inanimate objects all around seem to mock me disapprovingly. That all too familiar twinge of rejection marred my heart once more and I kicked myself for not thinking through any of my actions, specifically, impulsively kissing Carl Foutley.

Despite Tommy, Phil and my better judgment advising me to not get too close to him, I couldn't help myself for two reasons.

Firstly, the resentful side of me yearned for revenge. Luckily, fate had steered my even score to me in the form of a handsome and rebellious outcast. He was already on everyone's bad side and using him to my advantage would obviously anger them further...

However, my second reason threw a dark shadow over the first one. I was actually attracted to Carl. Something about him was saddening and because I knew all too well what kind of pain resulted in deep loneliness, I felt like if I could help someone get through it, I might also be helping myself by befriending someone who knew exactly how it felt. Still, I wasn't sure whether it was loneliness or just him being a law unto himself, he was a complete mystery either way.

Now I found myself back at the drawing board. Friendless. I wasn't going to throw myself a pity party or wallow in any more regressing patterns of thought so I decided to make amends with Carl tomorrow in detention.

Good girls really shouldn't befriend bad boys...

\

It was raining the next morning and I couldn't find my umbrella in the car so I had decided to take it like a man and dash to the entrance of school. A couple of cars far from me, I could see a familiar one parked in which Tommy Pickles was sitting with a blonde who definitely wasn't Lillian.

A part of me shrugged it off because I knew how friendly Tommy could get but a curiosity awakened when I saw him tie a necklace round her neck and draw her in for a passionate kiss. The realisation hit me hard like a frozen mackerel right across the face. Was Tommy was cheating on Lil!?

I was suddenly a bundle of questions... Did Lil know? Was it an open relationship? Who is that girl? I thought Tommy loved Lil? Was Lil just an innocent victim of Tommys?

I found myself smirking, thanking the high heavens for having dodged that bullet! No wonder why Tommy Pickles was able to lead both Lil and I on into believing that we had a shot of being his number one. He had _been_ at it.

Almost as suddenly, my heart sank for my ex best friend. My whole being knew Lillian did not know of this and sure as hell would not condone an open relationship. The better half of me wanted to tell her and look out for her, despite the wrong she had done to me (she was being played even rougher) but a small, bitter nagging voice in my head wanted her to suffer through it and get what was coming to her. Confusion set in.

I hadn't thought it was possible to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time, but as the seconds passed by in the hard rain, the love and anger I had for a girl I had shared so many memories and joy with fought for dominance.

Maybe I wasn't as evil as I thought I could be...?

Deciding I had had enough of the show, I bolted into school and headed to the bathrooms to fix myself up. The rain had done a good job at restyling my hair and drenching my chemistry notebook, but at least the awesome outfit I had on escaped with just a few drops that'd dry out on their own.

As if on cue in a cheesy movie, as I was fixing myself up, Lil and her friends came into the bathroom giggling excitedly. When she noticed me, Lillian smiled and awkwardly looked herself in the mirror.

Now my mind was racing. Do I do the right thing and expose Tommy then and there or just mind my own business? On the other hand, did I really want to get involved in a mess that I so narrowly escaped and look like a totally jealous person?

While I idly brushed my hair, engrossed in my thoughts, I finally resolved to tell Lil. How she'd take it would be her business but at least it would be off my chest. When I turned to break it to her, the door was swinging shut, she was gone.

/

Lunch in the cafeteria was stuffy and packed, and I preferred the cool air so I decided not to sit inside.

Everyone was trying to avoid the rain, so I decided to sit outside on a staircase that led to the photography room.

Tomorrow was the big school match against our long term rivals, the Sabers. And it was compulsory. Just my luck.

"Boo!"

I jumped a mile, and chocolate milk spilt all over my white blouse, drenching me. Looking up I spotted Carl, looking slightly bad for frightening me.

"Okaaay, that wasn't suppose play out like that." he pointed out.

"Carl!" I complained. "now I have to walk around with a huge stain all day long."

I was surprised he was talking to me, but even more pleasantly stunned that he was being his version of nice about it...

"Uhm, I thought I was suppose to stay away from you?" I jumped right into the question I so desperately wanted to know.

"Yeah sweetheart, but I didn't say _I_ would stay away from _you,_" he explained, winking. "All's forgiven. You are after all, my fake girlfried."

He was confusing me, did this mean he liked the kiss? Where we friends now? Was he serious about the fake girlfriend thing, that we we official in an unofficial way?

Who in their right mind would jump into dating someone they barely knew though?

I smiled, getting up to leave "Gon try and blowdry my shirt in the bathroom."

"Wait," he stopped me. "here."

He fumbled carelessly in his gym bag and pulled out a green shirt then gave it to me "you can wear that."

"Your football jersey?" I asked, unsure whether to take it or not.

He nodded "Sorry for the milk thing."

"But won't your coach kill you for this?" I asked wondering what kind of ruse he was playing at.

"I read the regulations, this isn't one of them," he said shrugging. "Plus I seriously doubt there will be any practice this afternoon. _Trust me_."

His dark eyes were sincere and concerned; the way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine. It was the kind of look that every girl wanted to experience, a kind of heart racing moment which rendered me completely blank of any insecurities. I found myself unwittingly taking the shirt and going to change into it.

It was big, but if it wasn't for my 32Cs it'd probably look more like a short dress. But thankfully my denim leggings and converse worked well with the look. I turned around, CARL FOUTLEY 27 was written on the back. His scent was all over it and it was intoxicating me, fooling my brain into thinking about the kiss we had shared last night, the way his lips felt against mine...

I didn't bother to think how people would take me wearing Carl's shirt, I was just glad to be out of wet clothes. I had already been the topic of conversation since school started and this was probably going to be the cherry on top.

When I shyly returned to the staircase, Carl looked up and almost chocked on his soda.

"How nice of you to stare," I echoed his words from the first day we met.

"Ok, I don't think that was made for girls," he said, noting the light trace of my pink bra against the fabric.

He shook himself out the trance and looked away, embarrassed for gawking at my full breasts.

"Do you mind if I put this in here?" I asked, wanting somewhere to store my stained shirt since my bag was already too full.

"Nah not at all," he said, handing my his gym bag.

I opened it and folded my shirt, neatly placing it in the bag, and something crunched. It wasn't as if I had been looking for anything, I just happened to spot a bag full of numerous other bags of white. As if it was timed, his gaze met with my questioning look.

My mouth was slightly open and I had frozen "Carl...?"

"Protein supps," he said, quickly closing the bag and tossed it aside defensively.

"But why are they in clear bags?" I asked.

He shrugged "You're gonna have to ask the manufacturer that."

"Why so many?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Finster." he said rubbing his neck.

"You give me a lot of reasons _to_ ask all these questions, Foutley," I replied.

The bell rang and Carl got up quickly.

"The shirt looks good on you," he added. "Later."

I got up, thinking what a queer person Carl was. I seriously doubted his story about the supplements and my mind went back to all the drugs he used to sell. Was he back on that train again?

He probably thought I was stupid enough to believe his bullshit.

As I was heading to class, I saw Tommy hugging Lil from behind, his head rested on her shoulder and arms round her waist. They were talking to a couple of friends, and occasionally Tommy would kiss and whisper things into Lils ear and she would giggle. It made me want to gag, the way he felt no remorse and was acting so cool about everything when he was clearly a lying scumbag.

"_I'd never hurt you Kimi Finster," he had told me months ago._

Yet here we were.


	8. Chapter 8

**Carl IV**

As I had predicted, football practice was cancelled as a result of the weather but we were still discussing team plays for tomorrow's big game in the same place I had my detention slot in. I was starting to seriously dislike the room by the day.

Before the discussion had started, coach had given Tommy and I a very stern warning about fighting, especially withing the team.

We weren't meant to do it.

If we did it again, we'd be suspended for two games.

It was short and to the point. Coach was clearly not a man of many words, but Pickles and I shook on it in his presence and parted to sit on opposite ends of the room.

The meeting was long and boring, so the guys were being guys and talking about girls, cars and drinking at wild weekend after parties over the ramblings of coach about what it means to be a team. I could overhear Phil talking about a party he was going to be hosting at his place and my mind automatically went back to my bag of _bags_.

Because I still had a hell of a debt to pay to the underworld society, Lee, the guy I dealt for made sure I got the message loud and clear by somehow burying the drugs behind my house.

A familiar shudder ran down my spine as I wondered how his henchmen had gotten around my stepdad's half a million security system and found the time to bury the shit without triggering any alarms. After receiving a spammed coded email, I decrypted it using an intricate method only known to the gang that was at large for dealing major drugs and seemingly random murders.

_Sunday 420am._

I knew Lee took my oath seriously, but how he expected me to sell almost 30 bags of cocaine and weed was unreasonable, especially with the police on my ass, parents constantly nagging me about being a good kid, and principle having weekly meetings with me.

Oh, and how could I possibly forget that Kimi saw the drugs. I might have talked it out of her, she might have just chosen to think nothing of it, I don't know. But if she dared to spill a single word about it to any she would automatically inadvertently find herself on the hit list. And that was the last thing I wanted.

I resolved to get all the drugs sold and pay Lee whatever I owed him then start afresh. No more criminal activities, i'd actually make an effort to give a fuck. This living on the edge thing was starting to seriously get to me...

"Hey Carl," a kid who played on the team, Keegan came up to me once the meeting was over. "You a double light weight?"

whoever came up with the system of saying shit like that just to get drugs, was probably still high off the ones they had taken. I discreetly gave him two bags of cocaine and he paid a generous amount. No tip. Well!

It was risky selling at school. Because I didn't trust anyone there. These kids were all so careless and they spoke way too much I was nervous it would attract attention. I was literally sweating bullets and all I could do was pray that nothing would go wrong or else I would either find myself behind real thick steel bars with a matching orange suit or six feet under.

Either way, I wasn't gonna win.

Kimi came in as some of the football guys were shuffling out and she looked puzzled. I guess she hadn't gotten the memo of the meeting in here. The first person she seemed to spot was Pickles who was seated with some other guys laughing and telling raucous stories about their random hookups with cougars. Their gazes met and dear old captain looked displeased over the fact that she was wearing my shirt. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was stressed out of my mind about selling very illegal substances, I would've laughed and said something completely uncalled for. Most of the guys, including the coach, looked at her, appreciating how good the shirt looked on her, but also wondering how it had gotten _on_ her too. Phil and the coach were the only people without boarderline carnivorously lustful glares in their eyes. Coach looked confused as he walked out of the room, shaking his head and Phillip, well, Phillip looked mad and disgusted like he needed answers and he needed them now when Tommy whispered something.

Almost as quickly as she had spotted him, Kimi looked away and walked to the back of the class, sitting next to me.

"What?" she asked when she saw me looking at her with a stupid grin on my face.

"Your boyfriends are staring at you," I pointed out.

"They can take a picture, lasts longer," kimi said, taking out her notes to study.

"_Kimi_," Phil said, looming over us. "_what are you wearing?_"

"Oh this? It's Carl's football shirt, he let me borrow it," she replied calmly. "Mine got... ruined."

"_You're not allowed to do that_," Phil said, his eyes fixed on hers. He was clearly angry.

"Technically, she is. The bylaws dont say anything about it or it not being allowed for that matter," I informed him.

"I didnt ask you," Phil said to me, then turned back to Kimi. "_ANSWER ME!_"

I could deal with the dramatic looks, but Phil was pushing it when he yelled at Kimi. She'd jumped and froze, clearly intimidated. I stood up to challenge him, clearly he was overreacting and was definitely out of line.

"Hey man, you need to back up," I told him. "There's no need to be an asshole."

"Clearly, you're as slow as you look. Did I not say I wasn't talking to you?!" Phil asked me, puffing up like he was gonna attack, but instead, grabbed Kimi's arm and said "Go take it off."

"Phillip!" Kimi cried. "You're hurting me."

I shoved him into a couple of desks and was momentarily blinded by anger; its one thing to challenge me, personally I didn't even care because I get the dynamics, it's a guy thing. But if he was gonna drag Kimi into it and use lame ass excuses to assault her, then we had a serious problem on hand.

Before Phil could retaliate, a couple of guys pulled him back and out of the room as he fought to get free. They all left after that, show being over. It was a good thing no faculty members where there to witness it, otherwise I would have received detention til I graduated.

Kimi was softly crying with her head bowed down in the empty room as the door banged closed. I pulled her trembling body to my chest and rubbed her arm.

"I'm sorry," I said, being at a loss for anything better to say.

"I never thought Phil would _ever_ do something like that to me," she said softly. "He's – was – my friend."

"He's being a dick... bad day I guess," I consoled her.

She stopped crying after a few minutes and I asked her "Are you alright?"

She nodded and laid her head on her desk looking awfully sad. I was feeling guilty for what had happened, being the one who had given her my shirt and all which rubbed Phil the wrong way... however, as bad as I felt, I couldn't help but feel more anger towards Phil and Tommy for not being able to mind their own business. Why go to such extents to make Kimi miserable? Understandably, she wasn't their friend anymore, but why did they feel so motivated to be such colossal jerks to her as well and humiliate her like that?

/

I wasn't too sure if Kimi was silent all through detention because it was mandatory or if she was still processing what had happened. Probably both. The girl wasn't even sketching, and she always did that. She was just staring at the same biology page she had opened thirty minutes ago.

Whatever the reason, I felt like cheering her up.

"Hey, Finster, wanna go grab a burger?" I asked as we walked to the carpark, the smell of mud and rain drifiting in the air.

"Uhm, I don't know, i'm really tired Carl," she said gently.

"Come on, you gotta eat don't you?" I said, smiling and trying to lift her spirits.

She looked at her watch and then at me pulling my puppy dog eyes. Kimi giggled at how silly I probably looked "Can we take my car?"

"Whatever you want Finster."


	9. Chapter 9

**Carl V**

We found a small diner a couple of blocks away and decided to have food there. Sitting in a slightly dim, isolated part of it, we ordered cheese burgers and were waiting for the food.

"Where those drugs in your bag this afternoon?" she decided to confront me.

For the second time that day, I nearly choked. I coughed a bit to get my head on straight and looked at her inquisitive eyes.

"Yeah," I confessed laying back on the chair.

She didn't seem too surprised by that, which was strange. Thunder roared outside and light drizzle started.

"But, you're..."

"I know. The thing is I really need to do this, I owe some guys money." I heard myself say. "Lots of money."

She was probably judging my decision. Her expression clearly telling me what a bad move it was going to be.

"You don't need to do anything Carl, why don't you just tell the police?"

"Because the gang's always three steps ahead. I'd just rather do what I gotta and split." i told her.

Kimi seemed to be pondering the situation carefully in her head as the light drizzle turned into cats and dogs. Why did I feel so comfortable telling her this?

"What if they keep coming back for you?" she asked.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say mainly because I hadn't thought of that possibility. Was I setting myself up by not telling the proper authorities?

But if I did tell the police, i'd definitely end up in some protection program and if my calculations were correct, that would eventually result in my death – I'd be basically asking for it.

"You know what Kimi, just don't tell anyone," I said. "I got this all figured out and I really didnt want you to know about it."

The waitress arrived with our burgers and I fell silent until she left "Please respect that?"

She nodded and started eating.

My life had turned into a pile of rubble that couldn't be rebuilt. Picking up the pieces was proving to be very dangerous, a dark tunnel but the girl sitting next to me, she was the light at the end of it. Something was holding me back from being open with all of the emotions and being truthful to her about it. Maybe the fact that I'd only known her a week. She'd think I was some creep.

Small talk ensued, she told me about her art and seeing Tommy with the other girl. It resulted in us talking about him, what I had seen after the fight but I didn't tell her that he had threatened me to stay away from her. It annoyed me how much he was the center of her universe, she was clearly confused whether to love him or not but either way, he was getting a lot of attention. A lot more than he deserved.

I could see anger in her eyes for not being able to help it, idly twirling the sleeve of her jersey when we finished the burgers, waiting for coffee.

I changed the subject to more generic stuff like past loves, movies and family, noting that we both had older siblings and many other small things we both enjoyed. There was one stark difference though, she had only ever had one serious boyfriend and i'd had too many girlfriends to count and a whole directory full of hookups.

I decided to talk about the music she had playing in her car since the topic of sex was just getting awkward; we discovered we had a similar taste, preferring more alternative, non-mainstream artists. It was her dream to someday attend Coachella and Disneyland, both being places she considered 'happy' and 'free'...

I found out that she was more of a dreamer than most and her openminded veiw on the world seemed to be what motivated her to get through highschool and forever leave her tiny hometown. I could relate. Although I had only lived here a couple of months, it was starting to drive me crazy. It was way more different, more conservative vibe than New York and my other hometwon. I had gone there to visit my sister Ginger and her husband Darren to see my neice for the very first time just before Dave and mom moved us here.

I loved NYC. Although faster than most places, it had an aura I liked. Ginger was an author slash playwright with one of her plays being adapted into an HBO series. The girl was good and I was proud of her. When I talked to her about getting into trouble over drugs with Hoodsie and being arrested she shook her head and suggested I find a girlfriend to keep me busy, because i had nothing better to do.

"Not after Noelle!" I told her. "Girls bring trouble."

"So she cheated, got pregnant and passed the baby off as yours," Ginger said, rocking Rae, her daughter in her tiny cradle. "Ok, that sounded less dramatic in my head."

"See," I said.

"I think you need space, and a fresh start," my sister's head echoed in my head. "a brand new beginning."

My hands wrapped around the coffee mug and I glanced at Kimi who was still looking out of the window. I didn't think brand new beginning denoted getting involved with an emotionally unstable girl. However, as unstable as she was, she was still angelically pure, pretty and we had so much in common. I thought of the kiss she had given me the other night at school and grinned. Her soft full lips on mine and the delicate scent of her smooth skin. I desperately wanted a repeat of that.

She didn't know what she was getting herself into by doing that and it was taking all the self control I had to not reciprocate. I felt guilty even thinking about her in a lustful way.

Her phone vibrated and she answered it "Hi mom... no, I'm having dinner with a friend... yeah i'll be back soon, don't wait up...love you too."

"I almost forgot its a school night," I said. "We gotta get going."

"Yea," she said, getting her stuff.

I paid and we dashed to the car, as it rained heavily.

"Shit, i'm sorry for getting your car wet," I apologized. "I'm so drenched."

"It's not a problem," she said, turning the heater on. Soft music played in the background. "Thanks for the food, didn't realise I was hungry until I started eating... and for standing up for me at school."

"Don't mention it," I said. "The guy was outta line, harassing such a pretty girl."

She kissed me on the cheek.

"Uhm, Kimi – you need to stop, making this _kissing_ thing a habit," I explained. "I get it was the cheek but I can't – don't..."

"You don't like me like that do you?" she said, blushing and burying her head in her hands. "I'm such an idiot."

"What? No, I do," I told her, facing her. "Believe me, its all I want."

She looked confused, her gorgeous eyes searching mine. "I don't understand. The cheek thing was chaste, I didn't mean anything sexual by it."

"It's gonna be hard for me to not think of it that way since you've kissed me, and it was well, sexual, and now you're drenched in my shirt and shit then you kiss me chastely."

"What are you trying to say?" she asked.

"I like you, but I don't want to hurt you or get you on trouble cause you're a good person."

"Maybe im sick of being the good girl all the time," she said, folding her arms like I had offended her. "i've never done anything spontaneous or impulsive in my life."

"There's plenty of time," I said. "no rush."

With that, she took off her top and positioned herself on top of me. My heart was racing and I didnt know where to put my hands.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"Shh," she whispered. "I'm being spontaneous."

My head was blank and I was frozen still as she proceeded to start kissing my neck and sensually rub herself onto me. The rain outside was coming down hard and the windows were starting to fog up. My more evil side knew this was what he wanted and hungrily grabbed her hips, pushing myself into her, my manhood hardening and our tongues playfully teasing each other. But another side of me knew that if I didnt stop now, I would probably overpower her physically or psychologically, and end up making her do something she wasn't ready to do.

"Shit," I swore as I pulled away and made her stop.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Kimi, this...is this what you want?" I asked, every inch of me greedily wishing she would say yes.

"Yes," she said, her hands on my chest, kissing me.

I sighed, biting my lips and weighing the options. Why was I thinking so much?! She said yes, and I was definitely on board, but why was my head slowing me down with all these gay questions.

"I want you, Carl," she whispered in my ear.

I carried her to the backseat and sat there, with her still straddling me and giggling. I kissed her neck and proceeded down, unclipping her bra trying to go slowly but my head was pounding impatiently to get inside her...

"Oh, I'm a virgin," she said. Then I officially stopped in my tracks.

"What?"

"Sorry," she said. "I should've said."

This totally changed everything. I had never been with a virgin, and regarded them as clingy. Now I felt even more guilty and nervous for her _and myself_.

"Should I stop?" I asked.

"No."

"Is this really how you want to lose your virginity? To a drug dealer outside a diner in a car?" I heard myself asking ever so uncharacteristically. What did I care how she wanted to lose it? I was gonna get laid and thats all that mattered. But taking advantage of the situation kind of made me feel terrible about already being a bad human being.

She responded by unzipping my jeans and unbuckling my belt. "Yes."

"Hey, wait a second," I said, lifting her off me and putting her on the seat next to me. "Kimi, are you ok?"

Her eyes watered but she shook it off and wrapped her perfect tummy with her perfect hands. God, she looked so amazing with her pristine, untouched, half naked body. Why the hell was I talking instead of fucking?!

"I'm so sick of playing it safe," she said, looking down. "It's lost me all my friends and now i'm a loser at school."

"Not all of them, I'm your friend." I told her, rubbing her arm.

"Oh yeah. And friends do favors for each other right?" she asked sweetly.

"Not _this_ kinda favor," I said.

"I dont want to graduate highschool as a virgin Carl," kimi confessed. "I've been so ready to lose it since last year and after the whole lil and tommy thing, I guess I just got obsessed with it. And I thought you'd... you know...?"

"Just deflower you without a second thought?" I asked. "I'd love to, but you're different from all those other girls I've been with."

She blushed a bit "How?"

"You're not cheap or easy, you know what you want. You're funny, polite, kind, humble, fun to be with and sweet which makes you an awesome friend. You have dreams and ambitions, you dont try hard to be someone you're not or impress everyone by being fake... and I know its only been a week but I do care about you Kimi Finster."

"Then show me." she asked, smiling and moving closer to me.

I held her waist and kissed her slowly and passionately. "I really like you," I whispered through the kiss.

"I really like you too Carl," she said, her arms around my neck.

She slid down on the backseat and lay there, and I removed my shirt, jeans and boxers to reveal how powerful my attraction was for her. Reaching in my pocket I took out a condom and wore it, then began to kiss her all over her tender lady parts, stroking her hair and savouring the moment of her offering herself up to me. I felt elated, a strange, unfamiliar attraction overwhelming me. I wanted her to feel just how much she'd grown to mean to me in the short time we'd known each other. It was something new and pure, I was ready to commit my whole self to her and give her whatever she asked for, so gently, on top of her, I slowly entered her tight, warm part, holding her hand and kissing her to reassure her that she was in good hands. A light trickle of blood stained the seat and I asked her if she was ok or whether I should stop.

"No, i'm ok..." she said so softly I nearly didnt hear. She felt so good in my arms, I buried my head in her neck and growled, the temptation to demolish her like a savage growing slowly. When I felt her growing accustomed to me, light pleasurable moans coming from her lips and feeling pulses inside her, I quickened my pace, holding her hand in one and waist in my other. This was something I wasnt used to. Making sure the other person was alright and paying careful attention to her cues.

_You're turning soft Foutley_, a voice in my head told me.

Nonetheless, it felt amazing and satisfying to see her respond so positively to my efforts.

"Carl." she said, her eyes half open, hand on my cheek, rubbing it sweetly. I closed my eyes and rubbed my cheek back on her hand, kissing her palm, and leaning in to kiss her tenderly, stroking her hair.

If I hadn't known any better, i'd have thought I caught feelings for this girl right then and there...


	10. Chapter 10

**Kimi V**

I snuck home as quietly as I could at 2am, trying my best not to wake up my parents.

Carl and I had cuddled since 930 naked and flustered from the intense session we had just had, the rain not giving up. He kissed my forehead and held me in a strong, warm embrace as I huddled next to him, laying my head on his chest. I felt sore, but it was nice. It was safe to say my first time was officially a success, no regrets from this end. I decided to take a shower and try to sleep, but I couldn't bring myself to so I lay up thinking about Carl and I's intimate moment just after we had done it...

"You feeling ok?" he asked me softly and sentimentally.

"Yeah, I'm feeling great. That was amazing," I told him, butterflies engulfing every inch of my bare body. "_You're_ amazing."

"I'd love to take the credit, but it takes two," he smirked, kissing my hair again. I blushed.

There was a couple of seconds of silence before he said "You know, Kimi, I'm not gonna think any less of you for doing this."

My heart jumped. Was it me or was Carl being _romantic_ about this? I half expected him to want to leave as soon as possible, but staying there, that very moment with me, it was the most perfect moment of my life.

I kissed him on the lips.

When I pulled away he sighed lowly and ran his fingers through his hair, swearing. "You're gonna make me go crazy."

"You say that like it's a bad thing..." I giggled as he lifted my chin to kiss my lips, parting them with his probing tongue.

In one swift move, he was on top of me, his chiseled muscles on top of me between my legs, holding himself up on his forearms so he didn't crush me "It could be, it's like a drug."

With my arms around him, I asked "Speaking of drugs, do you have some with now?"

"_No_." he said sternly. "I'm not letting you do that shit."

"It'll just be once, to experiment." I begged. "Please?"

"Finster, there's no way in hell I'd let you touch that rubbish. That's all it takes, once and you're hooked," he told me.

"Fine, I'll get some from Phillip," I said.

He raised an eyebrow in an _you aren't serious_ way.

"I'm joking," I said playfully, kissing his cheek. He looked unimpressed.

"Promise me you'll stay away from that stuff Kimi, I've see in turn people into zombies. Literally. The living dead. Just for a short high."

I nodded. "Ok _fine_, I wont do coke."

"...Or weed. Or any other drugs for that matter," Carl corrected.

"Yeah, what you just said," I said, his head on my shoulder.

He kissed my neck, leaving a trail everywhere, going down to my breasts, cupping and kissing them.

I shuddered just thinking about his lips and his touch...

/

I was late for school.

After totally sleeping through my alarm, my mom had barged into my room an hour later and screaming at me to get up and go to school in Japanese. I was still tired as I headed for gym class, and that was definitely not lifting my spirits. Changed and ready, coach made me do two laps for being late then assigned me to a volleyaball team which had Lil Deville in it.

I ignored her snickering with her friends and concentrated on the game as much as I could. The endorphins kick starting my system, I was playing like a professional. After a few minutes, I didn't even notice Lil there, occasionally looking at me. My feelings for her had gone completely neutral.

"Hey Kimi," Lil came up to me after our team won by a huge gap. "Well done MVP!"

"Thanks," I fake smiled.

"So, uhm, Tommy's having this party at his place after the huge game. It'd be awesome to see you there."

I nodded "Awesome. I'll keep that in mind."

For some reason I felt different. I was holding onto less anger and resentment for her. Maybe being with Carl was erasing the memory of Tommy and Lil from my head. If I was right, it was just what I needed... all I could think of was Carl and the moment he entered me, gently kissing me.

I blushed, pushing the thought out of my head.

Undoubtedly, I was starting to feel stronger for him but I wanted more than a 'I really like you' and some backseat action to feel secure in those feelings. He had told me how much I meant to him just before popping my cherry, and that was enough for me. I resolved to not ask him to be mine or any of that cheesy cliché virgin crap that society brainwashed through the media. My standards were none existent therefore I didn't expect him to do anything for me. I had given him the most valuable part of myself and as far as he was gonna know, it wasn't even that big of a deal to me.

\

Detention dragged on painfully as I impatiently tapped my fingers onto the side of my desk, staring at the exact same page I had been on since I opened my biology textbook. Reproduction. How ironic.

Carl was sitting on the other end of class, slouched in his chair, engrossed in Charlotte Bronte's _Jane Eyre_. He hadn't looked at me since walking in, or maybe he did but either way, he seemed like he would much rather do anything but make eye contact – or any other sort of contact – with me. But then again, I hadn't exactly made the effort to say hi to him whenever I saw him walking in the hallway between classes or leaning so sexually by a wall alone watching people and waiting for them to come to him with silly codes for drugs.

Actually, I had dashed past him, looking intently at the floor as I ran to whereever I was going.

Epic fail.

Time was moving way too slow for me, and I thought I could handle it, but I fought the need to grab his attention.

Phillip had landed himself into detention today (big shocker) and was passing notes to me, but my mind wasnt even into whatever he was talking about, some drinking game that was going to be played at Tommy's tonight.

Accidentally, I dropped the thick textbook on my desk and everything else that was on top of it and I swore, quite loudly. Everyone looked back at me, including Carl.

Phil laughed "Epic," he added.

"Miss Finster?" came Mr John's nasally voice from the front of the class. "Is there a problem?"

"Uhm, no," I said, getting up to pick my stuff up. I dared not look at him cause I felt like such a colossal loser. Smooth.

The school was being closed up and only a handful of people were left, and they were all in the detention room. Then finally, as I was picking my shit up, it was time to leave.

"It's been a pleasure," Mr Johns said sarcastically. "Last one out, lock the door and switch any lights off."

He was the first to leave, followed by Phil who was literally running then six other eager rebels.

"Frustrated with school already huh?" his deep voice asked, leaning onto a desk as I stuffed everything into my backpack.

All he said was jumbled up in my mind, and frankly I hadn't even heard him clearly so I asked "Huh?"

what did he even _mean_ by that?

"I throw my stuff on the floor too whenever its not making sense," he clarified, smirking.

"Oh," I blushed. "Yes."

_Yes!?_ That so didn't make sense!

Carl took a step to leave but I stepped back into a chair that made a noise. He stopped, noting what I just did. Talk about keeping my cool!

"You ok?" he asked after a moment of silence. I nodded fiercely, biting my lip.

"Yeah, I'm just tired from studying that's all," I lied, my heartbeat quickening.

"Page 83 of Biology Today?" he asked intimidatingly, eyebrows raised.

I blushed, then giggled, having been caught out "It's a hard page to study."

"I could tell," he said, moving closer to me until he was all up in my comfort zone.

My heart was pounding and every inch of me was tingling, willing him desperately to touch me.

"Kimi, you're not avoiding me, _are you_?" he asked, his eyes determined to elicit an answer or a reaction, I'm not sure which, I could never tell with him.

My lips parted but nothing came out. I was feeling so defeated at my own game.

"I thought so." he said gently and resolutely, turning to leave me halfway to a heart attack.

"Kimi Limi! What are you doing in here?!" Phil's head popped into class, motioning me to come.

"Packing up," I said, following him. I sighed, thinking of what had just happened.

The man I had just lost my virginity to had just intimidated the shit out of me, and it was... arousing. At first, I wasn't so interested in going to the game or the after party, but now, since I knew that Carl was going to be at both, I was obstinate about showing up in my shortest skirt and sluttiest panties.


	11. Chapter 11

**Kimi Vi**

Phil and I had been texting the whole afternoon before the game at 7pm.

It was a good escape from constantly reminding myself of what a huge clutz I was acting like around Carl Foutley and the other ver momentous occasion of my deflowering. He was really upset over the way he had man handled me and wanted to make amends.

_Phil: came by ur house last night. Wer u out?_

_Kimi: yea. It was fun!_

_Phil: you need to join me someday, i'll show u fun! Plus u owe me for totally blowing me off._

_Kimi: oh plz phillip! that was like 2yrs ago. Get over it._

_Phil: the scars run deep kimilimi._

_Kimi: :P_

_Phil: so anyway, enuf reliving of my rejection. watchu say? We get smashed tonight? I got coke and weed... :):):)_

_Kimi: really? Oh I keep forgettin ur a druggie_

_Phil: ye and u love it :P_

_Kimi: whatever. Ive always wanted to try, il see tho._

_Phil: cool beans. Come to the tunnel b4 the game to wish me luck, il give u sum then._

_Kimi: k._

I'd thought about it. Maybe 'seducing' phil would be the only way I _would_ get drugs, even though Carl was against it.

That evening I arrived slightly early to the tunnel where some of the players were hanging out. Most were by the field and the bleachers were beginning to get packed. The other team had shown up with busses full of support and a whole cavalry of cars so it was going to be a really big game.

Phil was talking to some blonde cheerleader in the tunnel when I arrived.

"Whoa, _heellllo. Look at you!" _he said pervertedly, eyeing me like a piece of meat.

"Cut it out Deville." I said, pushing him rascally. "Where are the goods?"

"Oh, no hello kiss?" Phil asked, pouting.

"Euww, no," I said, crossing my arms. "I have standards you know."

"Ouch! And to think we were suppose to give each other our virginities," Phil said. "Offer's still up b-t-w."

"You are cute," I said, leading him on a bit, a dangerous game I loved playing with phillip. But I trusted, no, hoped he knew I was not serious about fucking him. That's the furthest I had gone with him, but with my other boyfriends, we engaged in more intimate activites, but not sex. "maybe you'll be number two..."

I laughed, the guy could be such a clown. I found myself saying "but the first unlock offer... that offer's expired."

"What? You've lost your virginity?" phil asked comically, fidgetting and playing around as the team all got in the tunnel.

I didnt say anything back.

"You _did_ didnt you!?" he exclaimed loudly. So loudly everyone turned to see what was happening. "Wow, thats... WOW! Wait, TO WHO...?"

I hesitated with the name, but he kept probing, so I told him with a tiny smile on my face and looked at Carl who made eye contact with me.

"Oh I see, Foutley!? Geez, Kimi of all the guys, you had to give _him_ the golden key?!" he laughed disapprovingly, making me feel almost embarrassed about it. "How.. precious."

"Ok, truth is, he's not the most appropriate choice, we're gonna have to talk about it, missy! Now here, hold onto that for me would you?" He gave me a small bag of cocaine.

The other team filled up in the tunnel and I took that as my cue to leave, but before I could, Carl had made his way through the thick jungle of football players to us.

"You alright here?" Carl asked. He probably had the image of violent phillip in his head playing on repeat when he noticed who I was talking to.

Phil kept on apologising several times and like the naïve person I am, I accepted all thirteen of his apologies.

"Yeah, I'm just leaving. See you at the party Kimi-Limi," Phil left exchanging poisonous looks with Carl, the crowd outside cheering for a game.

"What was that about?" he asked me.

"Nothing, he was just apologizing for the other day," I lied, hiding the cocaine in my pocket. "Ready for the game?"

He shrugged. "As ready as ever I'd ever be to be beaten. These guys play in the major league."

"How do you know?" I asked him.

Just then, a huge blond guy from the Sabers made his way towards us and he and Carl embraced like long lost brothers.

"Hoodsie!" Carl exclaimed. "Bro, have I missed you! It's been too long."

"Tell me about it. Lucky isn't the same without you man! And their still rebuilding the science block you blew up." Hoodsie laughed. "Epicalness."

Carl laughed "Oh, Hoods, this is Kimi, Kimmi, meet Hoodsie, my best buddy from Lucky. Lucky was top of the League charts 5 years in a row. Thats how I know its a no brainer."

"Nice to meet you," Hoodsie said, surprisingly politely for a person on his size, he even bowed. "Hope Carl's being a good boy here."

"He is," I said, smiling at Carl.

"Hey, sorry but I gotta go, I'll catch up with you after the game," Hoodsie said. "All the best _traitor_."

Carl laughed and they did a secret handshake.

"So, hows Kimi doing?" he asked, eyes focused on me.

"Good, she came to give carl a goodluck kiss," I said.

He gave me bedroom eyes that shattered my heart into pieces "Well, we don't want a repeat of this last night do we? Especially with that skirt you have on..."

"Don't we?" I asked flirtatiously, putting my arms around his neck. His kit was making it hard for me but it was strangely attractive at the same time.

"You're making me horny," he whispered, backing me up onto a wall. "And I haven't been able to concentrate on anything today cause you were all that was on my mind."

"_Really?_" I asked in a low, sexual voice, kissing him, his hands round my waist, tracing down to my ass.

"FOUTLEY!" Coach yelled from outside. "There'll be plenty of time to smooch after the game. Get over here!"

"See ya Kimi," he said, winking and giving me one last peck on the lips.

"Break a leg!" I called out after him.

\

About half an hour into the game, what seemed to be a tackle had escalated pretty fast into a full on fight. From where I was sitting it looked as though Carl and Phil were in the middle of it, and Hoodsie and his teammates were attacking anyone who was defending Phillip. It turned into a huge field-wrestling match and the crowd loved every second of it. My heart skipped a beat...

If this was because of what I had told Phillip, who could never keep his mouth shut, we were gonna have serious problems.

In about two minutes, calamity had ensued and just as fast as it had begun, it stopped. The game continued and like Carl had predicted, Lucky won by a huge margin.

\

The chaos that at the field didn't seem to dampen anyone's party spirit.

In fact, people had become even more keen to party. This was the first time I'd been to Tommy's house after the whole gang had 'broken up'. Carl and Hoodsie with their other 'associates' were somewhere about, making huge sales off underage kids and anyone who could pay.

Whenever I'd pass by Carl, he'd give me a wink and seductively rub my waist, never stopping to dance or talk to me. But at 1am when the party was at its peak, so was my annoyance and anger. I was ignoring him? Seemed like he was ignoring me, but then again I was being a stalker, so I tried to wash out his memory by dancing with some guys and downing any drink given to me for a whole hour until I was too drunk and tired to continue.

I went to the drinks table, and saw Lil grind up against Tommy erotically, they were literally humping in public. When I was pouring myself a drink, a couple of hands wrapped around my waist and a familiar voice whispered "You look amazing..." into my ear.

I was startled and I dropped my drink, turning to see Phillip standing there, his hands still on my waist.

"Phil!" I yelled over the booming music.

"In the flesh," he said, looking drunk and standing a bit too close to me. "Wann go snort some?"

I looked around for Carl and didn't find him, and my curiousity was at its all time highest so I went with Phillip. He took me to the bathroom at the end of the den and quickly set up the lines, then offered me some after taking his part. It was now or never... and what Carl didn't know certainly wouldn't hurt him, or Phil... I sat by a counter and my pupils started to dilate as the rush flooded my sinuses and eventually, my whole system. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins, a sudden surge of energy and alertness overwhelming me. I became enveloped in an extremely good mood and all my senses were buzzing.

Phil was laughing by the toilet, and I began to laugh too, not knowing what was so funny.

"Whats so funny?" I finally asked after a good ten minutes of idle giggling.

"I don't know, what _is_ so funny?" he asked me again, then we laughed for another five minutes, phil now resting his head on my lap with me sitting on the counter.

"I feel like running in the back yard," I confessed, giggling. "Lets go."

I tried to jump off the counter to leave but he stopped me. "Hey now, wait, whats the rush. You need to say thank you first don't you?"

"Thank you Phil," I said, kissing his cheek, still happy. "For the drugs. Even though everyone knows you always have drugs."

He shrugged "I'm convinient. Like the 24-7."

He pulled me closer to him and lifted my skirt, groping my thighs.

"Phil, what are you doing?!" I asked, slapping his hand away.

"Getting my thanks," he said smiling drunkly and kissing my belly. I tried to push him off but he was way too strong and I was both too drunk and high to protect myself, but even if I hadnt been, I had absolutely no upper body strength to speak of.

"No, Phil, get off."

"C'mon. You fucked that new kid the loser, there should be enough for me, since I _have_ known you longer and everything..." he said, ripping my shirt. "Whoops."

"No, this isnt funny, stop! Stop." I begged him, but he pulled me closer everytime I scooted away, ready to penetrate me unprotected, his bulging manhood pulsating. There was a bang on the door, and I was screaming over the music for someone to help me, crying and dizzily trying to throw pathetic punches on phil's back through my tears. Why did I think I could trust Phil Deville?

Phil zipped up his pants, sighed angrily and opened the door "What?!" he demanded maddened.

"Gotta pee man I gotta pee...!" some kid begged, pushing the door open.

I had fumbled off the counter and to the door, and the door being fought over hit me on my head as I tried to pull it open to get out, but phil was pushing me back inside with just one hand. He even shoved me so hard I fell and hit my back onto the toilet basin, now stunned and in pain.

"Ey man, go fucken piss by a tree. I'm busy here," phil told the guy.

"no, you go fuck by a tree," the guy on the other end was arguing.

"Oh god, please help me, he's gonna rape me!" I yelled at the top of my voice, the basin's mark aching in my back. The high I was experiencing was suddenly a terrible nauseating headache.

"What?!" asked the guy outside. "Is that Kimi Finster?!"

I was sobbing and there seemed to be some crowd outside forming but Phil didn't seem to care. He had resorted to physically beating some innocent who just needed to use the bathroom. Clearly Deville had a serious violence problem...

I kept screaming desperately, drunk and in pain which was more psychological than anything, feeling the sting of betrayal all over again, then suddenly the door flew open, someone had succesfully pushed past both the guy on the other side and Phil, marching madly. He picking me up and carrying me outside, with people staring, music blaring in the background and me crying in the dark, packed house party. By this time I was sliping out of conciousness from all the cocaine and drinking I had put into my system, my savior unknown to me.

"Kimi, are you ok?" he asked when he put me in a truck's backseat. "Can you hear me?"

"Fuck, do you think he gave her something?" I heard someone else ask. "Roophies?"

"Nah," my hero was saying thoughtfully. "Phil had coke on him the whole night."

"That asshole's asking for another serious ass whooping," replied his friend, sounding agitated. "at this rate, we'll never make the deadline. We'd be as good as dead."

"Relax. You guys continue. I'm gonna take Kimi somewhere safe." I heard keys jingle. I was, well, feeling anxious, nausea, and pain in my half dead state and my heart was beating really fast. the driver didn't say a single word the whole way, at least I don't think he did. He'd gotten out and come back a couple of minutes later, carried me out and into a quiet, warm room in a strange place, I'm guessing some motel.

"Oh my god, I feel nauseous," I managed to say, trembling in his arms. He helped me up to the bathroom and I puked my brains out as he held my hair and rubbed my back.

"Here," he handed me a cheap motel toothbrush with paste on it and I brushed weakly, literally leaning on the sink for support. I rinsed my mouth with mouthwash, trying to get the taste of alcohol and phillip's tongue out of my mouth, but still feeling drunk and high as fuck. I gagged like I was going to puke several times, but my system was empty and it was painful. Every part of me was painful.

I'm glad I was brought here. Chaz and my mom would not be impressed seeing their little girl dressed like a hooker, halfway to the grave smelling of alcohol and cocaine.

The guy began to undress me and I instinctively tried to fight him off, memories of phil trying to do the same flooding back in my mind like i was reliving it. i was overpowered and felt depressed, hating my life and letting myself suffer the consequences of my bad decisions. i stopped fighting and was expecting forceful coitus when i was lifted but i was gently placed on the warm bed and tucked me into the blankets, dizzy, i saw him put a large glass of water with a straw on my bedside and a bottle of advil.

"Stay hydrated," I heard him tell me, everything was blurred but I could now sort of tell that it was Carl Foutley who had, yet again, come to my rescue. "and get some rest. I'll be back after the party."

"No," I said, starting to cry. He was by the door looking upset but he came to my side to hold me. "Please don't go."

"I want to stay but I gotta go sell the rest of the load Kimi," he explained softly, kissing my forehead and holding me tighter in his arms. "Trust me, I'll be back before you wake up."

"He tried to rape me..."

"Shhh," Carl said. "I know. He'll pay. He definitely wont get away with this."

He wiped my tears and laid me down "I love you Carl," I blurted out, meaning it with every fibre of my being. It was the truth, I had fallen desperately in love with Carl Foutley in such a short space of time and i wanted him to know.

How was that even possible?

Since I was being honest with him, i'd be honest with myself too i decided, allow what felt right to consume me. It was like we were made for each other.

I didn't hear his answer because right afterward, everything just went blank...


	12. Chapter 12

**C****arl**

My head was reeling with visions of Phil fighting Kimi for dominance in that bathroom as I drove - no, sped - Hoodsie's SUV back to the Pickle's place.

The first person I wanted to have a word with was Phil Deville. Drunk, high or not. He was going to hear what my fists had to say.

As if saying unnecessary, asinine comments about Kimi losing her virginity to me during the game to trigger a reaction wasn't enough, he had to go add salt to the wound by trying to rape her while she was at her most vulnerable, drugging her with her cocaine and god knows what else. Just the thought of it made me sick to my stomach and blinded me with uncontrollable rage.

He was perched on a counter in the kitchen, still drinking his brains out and dramatically talking about the game earlier that evening to our other teammates. As soon as I got out of the SUV, I marched directly to him with eyes set on his arrogant face and punched him straight in the kisser hard as I could manage. There was a sickening sound of bones crunching as Deville hit the floor with a loud thud, unaware of what or who had hit him. I had proceeded to beat him up more but the guys standing around pulled me back as I tried to fight free, murderous rage engulfing my reason. Tommy Pickles, who had not been there when I saved Kimi from Phil's mercy swore "What the fuck Foutley!"

"You're lucky you have people to protect you coward, or else I would've killed you!" I yelled furiously at Phillip who was clenching the side of his now bloodied face and lying on his side, party lights flashing all around.

"Dude, what's up with you!?" Tommy demanded, standing between Phillip and I. At this point, everyone had stopped whatever it was that they were doing to see what all the commotion was about. Music blared in the background of deathly silence.

"Ask your good for nothing friend here who almost raped Kimi," I spat angrily, the words forced and paining to come out of my mouth, my eyes refusing to get off Deville who looked too drunk to even comprehend what was happening.

"What!?" Lil, who was kneeled by her brother gasped, clasping her lips and looking at her brother for answers. "Phillip... Is that true? When was this!?"

"An hour ago," I said bitterly, Phil and I's gazes unrelenting. He had a look of satisfaction on his face and I wanted to tear that smug grin off his face.

"Dude...?" Tommy asked phil clearly at a loss for words, a disgusted, disappointed look on his face.

Phil got up quickly, shaking everyone trying to help him off as the crowd of people watched on for his reaction.

"Yeah, _fine_, I wanted to get some ass..." he told Tommy, throwing is arms. "It's not like she didnt want it."

I wrestled to break free but just then, Phil pushed Tommy out of the way and looked at me like I was powerless. He knew at this point he could say whatever shit he wanted and he'd be safe, obviously not the right thing to do at this point, least someone else amoung the sickened onlookers attacks him. "So cause she fucked _you first_ you now think you're special Foutley? One of the cool kids huh? Well here's some news for you – Kimi's _been_ around. _I'd_ know. _Tommy_ would know. _Z_ would know and whoever the fuck that bitch also sucked... so whoopy for you for fucking the resident whore whose done basically everything but break the v."

"Phillip!" Lil scolded, still knelt by the counter, sounding mad and heart broken like she was going to cry. Her friends were consoling her but her twin disregarded her plea to cease. She looked genuinely hurt. Probably for Kimi almost being raped. Probably for Tommy having been sucked by Kimi. Probably for herself for not being in the loop. Or maybe for her asshole out of control, alcoholic slash druggie woman beatiner of a brother.

I tried to wrestle free again, dangerous intentions fueling my moves. At this point, I wanted to kill Phillip for adding insult to injury and dragging Kimi's name in the mud in front of everyone twice tonight and especially throwing my image of her into question.

Tommy walked to Phil and spoke to him quietly. "I think it's time you went home, Phil."

"Nah, fuck that! … I aint leaving... i'm fine. I'm not drunk," Phil was yelling, staggering and stammering, his eye now closed shut from the punch and his face purple and bloody.

"Keegan, please take Phil home, hes had enough for today," Tommy said, clearly mad that he was exposed in front of the love of his life for playing her and her best friend by _his_ best friend.

Keegan and some guys had battled to get Phil into a VW Polo against his will, and once they drove off i was free to continue business, but I was no longer in the mood. The party's vibe had started to sober up and die down, people looked disinterested in mindless drinking, smoking and dancing but were all chattering behind my back about the events of the night.

That was when Tommy approached me sitting by the bar drinking something strong to calm my nerves.

"Thanks for saving Kimi." he said sincerely. "Phil turns real dangerous when hes high. Violent."

"She needed me," I said through gritted teeth, taking a huge gulp of the concoction. "I didn't do this for anyone but her."

"_Well_ she wouldn't need to need you if you werent the one selling the damn cocaine in the first place," Lil interjected madly, her arms crossed over her chest, an unimpressed look boring into me. i winced back at her look and rolled my eyes.

"Babe," Tommy tried to take her hand. "Relax."

"No Tommy." she half yelled, shaking his hand off. "Lemmi just say this one thing... _Carl_, what exactly do you think would happen with you giving everyone drugs, especially people like Phil?! Of course their gonna be outta line but lets not forget where it all started. I'm calling the cops."

"Baby, don't, if you call the cops, Phil will face the most charges here … by far." Tommy rationalized gently to her. "you don't want that do you?"

She was agitated and our angry gazes were held for a moment before she gave in to tommy's reasonable request.

"Fine," she spat, then turned to her boyfriend "And _she_ blew you Tommy?! You said you were faithful!"

She stormed off upstairs to one of the many now empty rooms.

Tommy looked around, noticing the vibe was dying out and finished his drink, then swore. He wasnt going to kick me out because he knew his party depended on my sales if it was going to end on a positive note. Cops busting it or not, so he nodded at me to take his exit and followed his lady to console her.

My mind was full of images of a scared, confused Kimi and how easily she was letting herself fall into danger, it made me worry. Uncontrollably. Strange enough, everything Phil said didn't bother me one bit, I was still in love with her, despite her exposed, interestingly dirty past.

Hoodsie came up to me as the end of the sun was coming up and people were leaving, tapping my back, "We're three thousand short."

I twirled the whiskey glass in my hand and ignored the crisis at hand, too exhausted to care about drug sales. "Thanks for your help, Hoods. It's for tomorrow then."

"We'll find a gig and come over, the teams only leaving sunday evening at 7 so i'll stay in touch," Hoodsie explained, then turned to leave but stopped in his tracks. "Oh by the way..."

I raised an eyebrow, bowing my head and wondering what other problem could there be at this point.

"Noelle. She's still mad about you just leaving and telling her off," Hoodsie explained. "Like. Furious. She keeps asking me where you are, looking for you and stuff."

That bitch.

Some women never knew when to take a hint. I was in love with Noelle once in my life. Actually, since I was 9 when I tried to make her disappear. She was everything I thought I needed. When I got involved in the underworld life, she started fucking my boss's son behind my back, only to get knocked up and lie about the paternity of the child. Last year when that little boy was born, I fell completely, hopelessly in love with him. He was so small and untainted by the world. I understood what it meant to love unconditionally when his tiny hand gasped my finger. For months I cared for little Flynn as my own, the trips to the doctor, the late night bonding moments with him, his first everything. I was already happily in dad mode.

But my life came crashing down on me when Noelle returned to flynns biological father and the guy broke the news of my child's true paternity to me while we were dealing. I nearly killed him. Long story short, we got caught with bags of cocaine and marijuana, landing me in juvie and him in hospital on his death bed. Noelle had came to see me that summer, crying for my forgiveness, telling me my son wasn't really mine and she even had the audacity to tell me she loved flynns father and was going to make it work with him. My heart shattered completely and she was dancing all over the pieces.

She had suddenly told me how much she hated me for nearly 'killing' the love of her life and putting him in a wheelchair. When she left I was little more than an empty shell of all the terrible decisions I had made. I was nothing those 7 months in juvie, but yet, I needed to be strong so I decided to continue with highschooling in there and when I finally left, I only had my senior year to graduate.

Word on the street was that Noelle and her love had broken up because of domestic violence. She tried calling me several times to make it right but I was over it. The woman had broken my heart too many times to count and I wanted nothing to do with her. That was when I moved here and changed my numbers after getting out of juvie.

"Tell her we're done," I told hoodsie. "And to quit stalking me."

Hoods left, patting my back again as he usually did to show support on his way out.

I finished my drink and walked to the car. Saturday 0456. I was nervous about today because I knew if I didnt get three thousand by this time tomorrow, I was going to end up worse off than Flynn's biological father, six feet under.

/

I finally got into the motel room at around 5am. Physically and emotionally weary.

Kimi wasn't in bed and I panicked, but realised she might just be in the bathroom. When I put down the keys to my bike, the door opened and out came Kimi finster looking just as bad as me, drained and exhausted in a bathrobe over her hot underwear. She looked surprised to see me standing there.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hey," she managed shyly and weakly, wrapping a bathrobe round herself to conceal her bare body.

She didn't move, and I looked at her inquisitively. It was like ever since we had done the deed, she had become more tense around me like she didn't want to come off too strongly as needy. I tried to give her space to process it, assuming it was a big deal for her – any girl – to no longer be a virgin and at the same time remain in close proximity in case she needed me, but it seemed as if the more space I gave her, the more she felt she had to distance herself and try to not make it bother her by befriending phil and not being the other Kimi. Now, an unfamiliar version of the perfect angel I once knew leaned against the bathroom doorframe, her eyes begging me to do something, anything.

The only problem was, I wasn't so sure what she wanted me to do.

I walked to her frail figure "You're up early."

"I felt sick," she said quieter, pushing past and huddling on the bed, facing away from me.

I sighed inaudibly and proceeded to remove my clothes and get on the bed, spooning her. She didn't fight me off, thankfully. I had always prided myself on being someone who was able to react in situations like this perfectly, but now I didn't know what to do or say next with her pushing me away or snapping at every turn.

We didn't say a word to each other for a while until I felt her breathing deeply by me.

I wanted to tell her then that I had fallen in love with her, but she seemed to have passed out almost too quickly. I wondered if she remembered, or if she really meant to confess her feelings...? I was falling asleep next to her too, asking myself all these questions, 99% revolving around the beauty in my arms.

"I love you too Kimi," I said just in case I wouldn't have another chance to tell her, knowing what lie ahead in my near future, i kissed the back of her neck...


End file.
